Seven Tips for Catching Smallmouth on the Housatonic at Corner Hole at 8 a.m. on a Saturday

While my Smallmouth angling reputation is not as legendary as that of others¹ and my trout angling experience is more voluminus², I know that you're likely struggling to make the switch from trout to bass and I thought I'd pass along expert-level tips to make you a better angler.

1. Fish alone. You want all the good water. It's summer and there won't be much water in the river. You want it all. If you can't fish alone, then fish with people who will readily take direction. Point them to the thin, crappy water³. Choose the water with some structure. Smallmouth like bouldery structure from which to ambush. Except when they don't.
2. Only fish when the water temperature is around seventy degrees. You could get this information by taking the water temperature directly or by calling the fly shop. I like to wait until all the trout discussion boards are hysterically wailing about the need to not stress the fish and to stay away from cold water refuges and other such conservation nonsense. That's when you know the smallmouth bite will be ON!⁴
3. Fish large, colorful streamers. My experience has been that the best color is Chartreuse. I like chartreuse mostly because it takes me several tries to spell it correctly when I'm typing it. I also like it cause the smallies hammer it. They also hammer white and yellow. Black and Olive work too. I haven't tried red. Red may work. Brown, probably not. But what do I know?
4. Make long, fast strips. Nothing works better than a three foot long, fast strip action. Strip-pause-strip-pause. The strike comes at the pause. Of course, when the long strip doesn't work, then use short strips. And longer pauses. And you can alternate the pause with two strips or two pauses and a strip. You get the idea. Stick with one method but mix it up until you find something that works.
5. Don't trout set. Smallies are the bonefish of trout water.⁵ Strip set. Hold on. A six inch smallie fights like a trout three times its size. Foul hook that bad boy in the tail and you're in for an afternoon of fun!
6. If you're not sight fishing, forget top water flies. Sure, watching a bass eye a popper for fourteen minutes before she hammers it is exciting. Sorta like watching grass grow but where the earthworms are aggressive carnivores hammering field mice in slow motion. But if you can't see the fish you'll never know whether a fish was eying your fly ready to pounce or you were fishing over dead water. And that lack of knowledge will make you second guess yourself every time you cast. And that'll erode your self-confidence. And that'll lead to doubts about your self-worth and eventually you'll find yourself sitting in your parent's basement, in your underwear, watching reruns of The Andy Griffith Show. Don't fish top water flies if you can't see the fish. Please.
7. Don't Tenkara. Sure you can do that foolishness in the privacy of a small stream. But on a larger river you're going to look like a complete idiot casting a large streamer to a large fish and then dancing around to make that streamer swim.. And then all those "I told you so!" comments that come your way when a modest smallie busts you off and busts your rod will be a chorus of unbearable shame. For the sake of your pride and sanity, Tenkara in private.

Well that's about all I'm willing to tell you for now.

I hope I won't see you on the water, but if I do, I hope you're fishing where the fish are not.

What are your favorite Smallmouth tips?

Dave caught this beauty by following six of the seven tips above. That was his first fish on a fly rod.

Notes
1 - Though I'm a more legendary bass fisherman than noodler.
2 - I've intentionally fished for Smallmouth twice. Some would say that's real expertise. Others would mumble and we don't listen to mumblers.
3 - Unless you see a monster swirl there, then take that water. Last Saturday I saw a "head and tail" swirl in six inches of water that made my heart stop. Of course once it restarted I didn't mention it to nobody. Especially not to the guy standing about twenty feet upstream of the swirl fishing the deep run.
4 - Hell, you might even catch a trout. Especially if you target those cold water refuges. They're stacked up like hell in there! Okay, that's not sporting. Don't do that. Intentionally. With weighted treble hooks. That'd just be wrong. Stick to the smallies.
5 - That BS about carp being freshwater bones is just that, BS. Nobody fishes for carp anyway. That's all just more flyfishing carp marketing BS. Don't fall for it.


Bonus Tip: Train a dog to spot the fish for you. This is the only reliable way to fish topwater flies when you can't see the fish. Of course, blow a hook set and that dog is gonna give you crap for a long time.

Gierach said there's no such thing as a fishing dog.
Who knows.....

Mission Accomplished!

I caught this wild trout in the gutter on my garage.
Thanks, Trout Unlimited!

I fished for trout yesterday; wild trout.

When I look at the reports all over the intertubes I find other folks are fishing for and catching trout too. But that's not surprising, since conservation organizations like Trout Unlimited have helped to raise conservation awareness and drive positive change.

What's surprising is how effective TU has been in such a short time. When those angling elders first sat around a campfire in Michigan and envisioned a coldwater conservation organization, trout fishing sucked and was in decline. But people across this great country flocked to the TU banner and a bunch of crazy guys went from being a strange voice in the darkness to an organization and then a full fledged movement; The Trout Unlimited Anti-Coldwater Massacre Movement™.

TU created local pods all over the great land to deal with local water quality and fishing issues. In time, a small group of national leaders emerged to knit together resources, share best practices and to help with legal and political issues. And Cold Water™ once again became cold; and water was Clean™.

But that wasn't enough.

These national cats began to think grander thoughts. They thought things like "Perhaps we could make better progress if we did a bit of what our opponents do; marketing and lobbying and spinmeistering"* So, they started "lobbying" and "marketing" to opinion leaders and politicians.

In fact, in 2011 when the oil and gas industry spent $150,000,000 helping to convince law makers that they were the preferred stewards of all the lands, TU overstepped their conservation mandate and fired back with a $280,000 broadside.**

And I know you're thinking what I'm thinking: "Are you fucking kidding me, $280,000?! You really expect to be heard with that paltry sum" "Extractive industries seeking to ruin my fisheries, YOU ARE TOAST!"

The word was out. The influence was peddled.

Not to be outdone, when companies were green lighted by the Supreme Court to give unlimited sums of money to political campaigns to further their goals, TU stuck it to them by releasing aggressively worded press releases, provocative blog posts, and by chopping down the mightiest tree in the forest with... a... herring.***

And the grand marketing machine began to hammer home key messages.

In short order the Pebble Mine issue was on everyone's lips. In fact, a fishing buddy of mine saw my decal on the car last weekend and said "What's a Pebble Mine?"**** That, my friends, is the sweet sound of marketing victory. Congratulations, TU!

Locally we've done some great work protecting, restoring and sustaining our fisheries. Now there's Clean Water™ all over the place despite the fact that our population has grown and development is rampant. The fishing has never been better and should continue to be so for forever.

And now, it's time for TU to once again respond to the up-welling of local voices.

If one believes everything one reads on the internet, as I do, the prevailing winds have shifted:

• TU is on longer a fishing organization.
• National leaders are environmentalists, not conservationists.
• TU's messages are dishonest.
• TU only cares about western issues so that they get to go on hog-seeking jitneys to large western rivers.
• Members are tired of paying for National Staff's weekly pizza lunches.

Those shifting winds coupled with the unmitigated success that is reflected in Cold Water™ and Clean Water Everywhere™ leads me to one, unequivocal and irreconcilable truth:

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, BABY!

Good on you, Chris Wood!******

As such, I call for the immediate dissolution of Trout Unlimited as a national movement organization.

The future stewardship and support of the Oil and Gas industry, the Mining industry and the National Cattleman's Beef Association suffice for me and should suffice for local chapters as well.

Thank you, Trout Unlimited. We'll miss you.

Sort of.

BONUS FEATURE

And while we're looking at organizations that really have outworn their welcome, here's a few more.

• Exxon Mobil: Originally a company that gave out dinosaur soaps with every fill-up and was named Esso, now they're distracted by Oil Industry domination. Enough! Move on! You're top dog: $120 billion in revenues, $20 billion in cash on hand. Mission Accomplished! Free soap for every man, woman and child on the planet.
• Apple Computer: Ditto. Crap, $30 billion in cash, an iDevice in everyone's hand. wtf, is next, brain replacements? Steve is dead. Move on already.
• The American Civil Liberties Union: Surely, when the Ku Klux Klan seeks your assistance, your work is done. Good on you, ACLU!
• Walmart: You've killed every small town department store on the planet******* and "forced" us to purchase so much crap from China that we no longer make anything in America. What more is there?

/sarcasm

Notes:

* They also thought "How can we get members to pay for our pepperoni pizza lunch every Thursday".
** The total Environmental Lobby***** spend was $16M in 2011. When you take the 2011 spend of the Oil & Gas lobby at $150M plus the Mining Lobby spend at $32M you find that the Environmental lobby is outspent by more than ten to one just by these two lobbies alone. And I imagine that ranchers and farmers and other lobbying groups spend money ensuring that they will prevail as stewards of the land. Everybody wants to be king.
*** I stole that part about the herring from Monty Python. It isn't true. In fact, they cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a Brook Trout. That isn't true either.

**** True story. He's now better informed.

***** I know, you don't think of TU as an "environmental" group (unless you do) but that's where they're lumped for the purposes of tracking spend on lobbying.

****** Where the hell did TU get the money for an aircraft carrier? And what headwaters stream can they float that thing on? I sense they're getting away from their true mission.
******* I did find one honest-to-god Five and Dime type department store on Stewart Ave. in Roscoe, NY. I expect that now that this cat is out of the bag, Walmart will kill this one too.