Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The New Phone Book's here! I'm somebody now!

Okay, it's not a phone book, it's only the size of a phone book.

Of course, I'm talking about the hardcover edition Cabelas catalog.

When I first received this tome a half-dozen years ago, I thought it was interesting though entirely unnecessary. Hello! McFly! The internet!? I don't need a book. Send me a few dozen paper catalogs each day, no problem. But a book! Jeez.

Sears abandoned the catalog in 1993. J.C. Penny finally decided to throw in the towel in January (they have catalog stores?!?! Who the hell goes to these things. Mail. UPS. Fedex. Hello!?!?!. ).

Fetch me my telegraph key I have to wire in my order to Mount Pilot.

That Cabelas continues to publish this thing is a stunning anachronism and perhaps even a direct marketing delusion. Who uses this thing? It's too unwieldy to be proper "reading room" literature. And my lovely gives me "the look" when she sees this doorstop laying about. Good lord.

One sec, I have to go help the Pony Express guy switch horses. Be right back.

Okay, I'm back.

My first thought was that someone must have stock in a printing company though upon investigation I doubt it. No where on the catalog does it say "Printed with Pride by Union Workers in the Good Ol' US of A" so my guess is they print it for pennies in the People's Republic of Walmart China.

Don't get me wrong, I like a nice catalog for reading in bed or whilst on the "throne" pondering great things. However, they should be flimsy paper things easily folded and disposed of in the recycling. Can you recycle a book?

So, once again the Cabelas catalog book will wander about the house looking for a proper location to rest. In time, perhaps in a very short time, it will make it's way unread to the large green garbage bin.

Why do they bother?

Damn, I need a Jackalope!


  1. Why do they bother? So that you can write entertaining stories like this one. In bed, really? Yeah - me too.

  2. ;-) The book is now in the bin. Good riddance!

  3. I cannot tell you how great this blog entry is. I could have written it myself, only it wouldn't have been nearly as funny. Currently, my "book" is on the couch. Out of place. I don't know what to do with it. Two days ago it was sitting on the kitchen table, buried in papers and cast off winter clothes. I miss the paperback version.

    Oh, btw - NICE BLOG!

  4. Echoing my sentiments...preaching to the choir, et cetera. Several years ago, so flabbergasted was I by the arrival of yet ANOTHER Cabela's Master Catalog (that was so big the mail carrier wouldn't deliver it, causing me to have to venture to the post office to pick it up), that I wrote a letter to Mr. Dick Cabela himself, asking not to be sent the monstrosity. I also suggested that if I were a shareholder of Cabelas stock, I'd be downright up in arms over the wasted dollars and resources to print that damn thing. For some reason I never got a reply. However, I no longer receive the biblesque catalog either. I must not spend enough there anymore.

  5. Thanks for the kinds words. I do like the good catalog. It allows you to scan the offerings in a way that the web can rarely do. Some folks are publishing catalogs in "ezine" format which is a start. My favorite catalogs are from the Fly Shop and Feathercraft. The J Stockard one is getting there.

  6. I guess what I never understood was why Cabela's sent out that Master Monstrosity when they also had their Fall, Winter, Spring and Summer soft cover catalogs, and of course the deer hunting, waterfowl, fishing, fly fishing, winter sports, shooting sports and mushroom gathering specialty catalongs that come in between?

  7. Solid post, I like it. This brick cannot be inexpensive to mail...but maybe in fact the marketing does work? Cabela's seems to have have an entourage - a guy can get scorned by knocking them. Please post when you know whether we can recycle these or need to trash them.