Monday, July 4, 2011

Adopt the 1.5X Standard!

I don't exaggerate in my fishing reports but I know you do. And just so we understand ourselves I think it would be only right to establish some sort of quantitative standard and method for just how much we'll exaggerate under certain circumstances. In that way when we read each other's reports we will be able to compare one against the other in an objective manner.

First, we need a baseline. I am going to assume, based upon experience with your reporting and that of others that any fishing story exaggerates, on average, by at least 50%. So the factor for normal fishing stories will be 1.5X. This is more of a guideline than anything else. It doesn't mean that every twelve inch fish is counted as eighteen inch fish. What it means is that by the time the story of that twelve inch fish is told, the net exaggeration factor including length, girth, weight, adjectives used in describing the event and prowess of the fisherman will yield the noted expansion in fishing equivalency.

Now we must modify that factor in some standard ways. These Modifying Factors would be added and subtracted from the base factor as appropriate. The higher the net factor the greater the relative exaggeration.

At the end of every posting you would sum the puts and takes from the base factor to yield the final factor and put that number at the bottom of the post. In that way we can all know exactly how one tale compares with another. Again, the purpose is not some absolute measure of the quality of your trip or report. The purpose is only to provide equivalency for comparison purposes.

Draft Modifying Factor Template as approved on June 17th, 2011 at the 21st Congress of Fly Fishing Exaggeration Enablement hosted in Stockholm, Sweden by the Örnsköldsvik Lake, Ditch and Freestyle Angler Recreational Trout Club


Factor # Factor Description Factor value
1 Only vaguely referencing actual fish in the fishing report +1.0
2 Showing pictures of fishing/landscapes/flowers/streamside meals with no pictures of actual fish +1.5
3 Showing pictures of fishing/landscapes/flowers/streamside meals in addition to pictures of actual fish -0.25
4 Showing pictures of fish but not "the big one" -0.1/picture to a maximum of -0.5
5 Showing a picture of a well chewed fly -0.25
6 Showing a picture of "the big one" -0.5
7 Showing picture of the big one in such a manner to make it look larger than it actually is +0.5
8 Showing a picture of a Brook Trout -0.75
9 Mentioning Tenkara +1.0
10 Mentioning a Switch Rod +0.25
11 Waxing poetic about the weather, the clouds or anything other than the fishing +0.5
12 Actually including poetry in the post +1.0
13 Pictures of a child fishing -0.1
14 Pictures of a child holding a fish -0.5


Examples (with 1.5X Live ScoringTM)

Example 1: I went fishing last weekend with my Tenkara rod (+1.0) on the Madison River and the fishing was very good (+1.0). It was a beautiful day and I really enjoyed the sunset. [INSERT PICTURE OF SUNSET] While walking along catching fish I saw some pretty flowers [INSERT PICTURE OF FLOWERS] and sat and ate a ham sandwich [INSERT PICTURE OF SANDWICH] (+1.5) while enjoying the bubbly music of a nearby riffle and a sunset that reminded me of the times I walked Ol' Yellar down by the waters of my youth (+0.5). As I left the stream I recalled a poem that I learned well in elementary school that seem appropriate at this juncture "He prayeth best, who loveth best, All things both great and small; For the dear God who loveth us, He made and loveth all".(+1.0)  Total Score: 6.5X

Example 2: I went fishing last weekend with my Switch Rod (+0.25) on the Madison River and the fishing was very good including two Browns, more small Rainbows than I could count, and one particularly nice, fat, football shaped 'Bow that taped out at twenty-two inches [INSERT GRIP AND GRIN OF THE 'BOW]. (-0.5) It was a beautiful day and I really enjoyed the sunset. [INSERT PICTURE OF SUNSET] While walking along catching fish I saw some pretty flowers [INSERT PICTURE OF FLOWERS] and sat and ate a ham sandwich [INSERT PICTURE OF SANDWICH] (-0.25) while enjoying the bubbly music of a nearby riffle and a sunset that reminded me of the times I walked Ol' Yellar down by the waters of my youth (+0.5). As I left the stream I recalled a poem that I learned well in elementary school that seem appropriate at this juncture "He prayeth best, who loveth best, All things both great and small; For the dear God who loveth us, He made and loveth all". (+1.0) As I exited the river, I accidentally caught a beautiful little Brookie while trailing my fly in the water [INSERT PICTURE OF BROOK TROUT] (-0.75)  Total Score: 1.75X

Any recommended modifications to the template may be submitted to the 22nd Congress via comments on this blog.

Take the 1.5x Standard Pledge!
By posting the 1.5x Badge on your website (save the image above), you pledge to rigorously comply with the 1.5x Standard and to apply such standard to any posts you read on other sites whether they agree to it or not. Additionally, if you feel another blogger has exceeded the 1.5x Standard or applied Modifying Factors in a manner which violates the letter or spirit of the Standard you will respond to such post in the following manner: "You sniveling git, you exaggerate! Comply with 1.5!"

6 comments:

  1. I pretty much beat #7 to death on my blog posts. Very funny stuff. You have something here.

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  2. Wait, a negative multiplier for a Brook Trout?

    The fishing trip multiplier system has been in place on the Underground for quite some time, and while I didn't create any fancy pants table like you did, I'm appealing your decision to assign a negative Brook-trout multiplier to the International Fishing Multiplier Standards Body (IFMSB) immediately.

    We'll see how smug you are about the Brookie thing after an international standards body lands on you...

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  3. Dang, that's scary.

    Like golf and other lame pastimes, for the 1.5x Standard you want a lower score reflecting a better (and thus more perfect) alignment with "reality". So, a 1.0x score would be "real". And less than 1.0x "unreal" but in the "Dude that's unreal" sense and not the "that's not real" sense.

    Thus, the inclusion of a Brookie actually helps one improve the overall alignment with reality and its negative factor is boon rather than bane (as is the Brook Trout itself).

    While the Sipping Emergers Blog has no official Char, if we did it would certainly be the noble Brook Trout and not the feckless Dolly Varden or its kin.

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  4. Great post. I like the show a kid fishing pic one. Funny stuff for sure. Tight Lines.

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  5. Thx, Trout.

    TC - Is Sven Åkerstedt the Elder still on the board? Last time I saw him he weighed in at around 30 stone.

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